Budget update and why Valentine's Day is stupid

We are 12 days in to the radical budget challenge and it has been surprisingly easy. We have had to put things off, and tell the kids no we can't go out to eat or go get ice cream, and plan our meals at home. I wouldn't want to do it all the time, but it's working for now. Scott even said something the other day about doing it for another month or every other month so we can save up more money. We know we will be replacing cars in the next few years so something like this may not be a bad idea. We'll see how we feel at the end of the month!

This week's intention came to me immediately in yoga class Monday morning. Usually I have to think about it for a few minutes before I decide, but this week it was just there. My intention is "I am loved." I know it sounds like that guy from the SNL skit ("and people like me!"), but I don't care. This week's intention came about because of stupid Valentine's day.

Here's why Valentine's day is stupid: I don't want a box of yucky milk chocolates or a dozen boring roses because the rest of society says he should give me this type of crap for one particular day of the year. I don't want to go to Olive Garden with the rest of the entire town and wait 2 hours (or more!) for a table. I would much rather he got me flowers one random day because he was thinking of me and thought I would like them. Or surprise me with a dinner out - and a babysitter! Or spend money on some really good dark chocolate when he knows I've had a bad day. These are way more romantic than being forced to be romantic on the same day of the year as everyone else. Anyway, Scott usually has a gig on V day. And that's fine with me. So this Valentine's I am going to take time to really appreciate the love given to me from the people I care about in life. I want to acknowledge and enjoy the love I receive from others - in my opinion, a much better way to celebrate this day. Oh, and make crafts with the kids. I've been Pinteresting a lot (pretty sure that's a verb now).

Radical budget update & a strong intention

Ok, so here's the update on operation radical budget. Only 4 days in and we are already learning a lot. We've already had 1 big fight about the money situation (but now we are ALL on board so hopefully we can work as a team). It's definitely a huge adjustment! I am looking at money a LOT differently right now. Here's the plan in case you missed the last post: for the month of February we are only going to spend $50 cash a week plus whatever money we can make from selling stuff we don't need anymore around the house. This way we can save up some money and get rid of some stuff. And maybe learn to live on a budget. I make budgets all the time, but we don't actually stick with them. If I really want to go buy some clothes, I go even if we don't have it in the budget. I just use the credit card. That's not going to happen this month! I know this budget is not sustainable (for one thing cause we will run out of stuff to sell eventually) but doing this every once in a while may be good for us.

We started out with some money left from last week...it's amazing how fast money can go when you are buying food for a family of 4. I had a girls night and a Super Bowl party planned for the weekend too. I budgeted these 2 events very carefully. At dinner, I only had one drink and a quesadilla a la carte with a side of guacamole. My bill was $12 with tip. Which was good cause I only had $20 and we needed to buy milk and newspapers the next day (for the coupons). For the Super Bowl party I used mostly what we already had in the fridge and pantry. I only had to spend a few dollars at the grocery store and be a little creative. By the end of the weekend we were completely out of money. This was actually really scary because I am determined to see this through the month and I didn't want to give up so early. I knew we would need money for the week - my kids eat more fruit than anyone I know! So I decided the first thing I would do is sell some of my couponing stock. I chose stuff I had tons of or stuff I bought but never used, or dragged home even though I didn't really need it because I made money on the item. I listed these items on our local swap n' shop facebook group. Within a few hours I had sold most of it. We have already made $30 today and will make another $20 tomorrow. So we planned a little trip to the grocery store!

Here's a few ways this is changing my thinking: I seriously considered what to order at the restaurant - I had to choose something weight watchers and wallet friendly. Normally I would just order whatever I wanted, including a few drinks. I would have gone out and bought a bunch of stuff for the Super Bowl party. It wasn't necessary. I already had the stuff at home to make plenty for everyone. My thinking has shifted to what's really important to purchase right now. I am much more aware of how much cash I have and what needs to be purchased. Anything else can wait.

This change really ties in well with my intention for last week: to be more aware. I thought of this intention often, especially when my mind really started going and wouldn't shut up. I tried to be more aware with my kids, when I was driving, at the gym, at work, and just enjoy what I was doing at the time I was doing it.

This week my intention is...I am strong. I am strong physically and getting stronger. I am strong emotionally and won't let the way other people decide to behave affect me. I am strong enough to continue with the weight watchers plan and work towards my goal. I am a strong mother for my kids. I am strong enough to keep up with this radical budget. Anytime I feel like I can't do it this week or start thinking badly of myself because I've made a mistake, I'm going to remember this week's intention. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes!

Radical Budgeting

I really suck at sticking to a budget. It's hard when one income varies from month to month - when we have a lot of money coming in, we spend a lot of money, but when we don't have a lot coming in, we don't have the extra to cover the deficit. I am so tired of having a big bill come up and not be able to pay for it, then we have to pay with a credit card and make payments with interest. I really want to build at least a little bit of an emergency fund this year so that when we have a car repair, or a vet bill, or a house repair, we can just pay it.

So I was reading through some articles posted on Facebook from a few different budgeting sites, and I read about something that really sounded interesting to me. A woman said her family saves money in the months of January and February by selling items they don't need anymore. The only money they spend on any non-bill items comes from the sales of stuff from their house. Any money they would have usually allotted to groceries, clothes, entertainment, eating out, etc is put into savings. This way they declutter and build up a little savings at the beginning of the year.

I love this idea! I am very interested to see if we can do this. So we have decided to try it in the month of February and see how it goes. We are going to try and live on the cash my husband gets for a Wednesday night gig every week ($50) and whatever we can make for selling stuff like outgrown kids clothes (and my outgrown clothes that are now too big) and toys the kids don't play with anymore. Basically all the crap piled in my garage right now. So if you ask us to go out to eat or go shopping during the month of February we will probably say no. But if you want to come over for dinner or cards we will be happy to have you. I suspect trying this may change more than just our budget...so we'll see how it goes. I'll update each week on how we are doing.

The Awareness Intention

In some of my yoga classes, the instructor asks us at the beginning of class to set an intention for the class. It can be anything we want, just something for us to focus on for the class. Like, "I am strong" or "I am joyful", etc. I really like this idea and I now do this for every yoga class, not just when the instructor asks. Sometimes I have a hard time making my brain shut up and this helps me focus my mind on one thing for the class.

For the past few weeks in my Weight Watchers meetings our leader Julie has insisted that we write down at least one thing we are going to work on for the week. It can be small and simple, but we have to write it down - not just think it or say it. I have noticed that even if I don't do everything I'm supposed to do (in weight watchers terms) I usually do whatever I have written down. Last week it was more activity and this week it was planning meals.

This morning in my yoga class I was thinking that I was glad I had a class on Monday morning and what a good way to start the week. I set my intention for the class: "I am aware" (aware of my breathing, of the muscles in my body working, of the correct posture for the poses). I realized that setting an intention could not only work for the class but also for the whole week. So I'm going to try setting an intention for the week for the next few weeks and see how it goes. It seems to make a difference in Weight Watchers to write it down, so I thought I would write about it here so hopefully I will follow through.

So for this week I'm sticking with the awareness intention. I think this will be pretty tough for me. I am ALWAYS distracted and thinking about the next 5 things I need or want to do. I don't pay attention to what's going on around me because I am stuck in my own head. My goal this week is to be more aware and pay more attention to what's going on around me. Especially when it comes to my kiddos. I've been thinking a lot lately about changing some of the ways I deal with the kids, and some of the changes I've been making are definitely showing positive results, especially with Maddie. Part of this is thinking about what I'm saying to them before I open my mouth to say "in a minute" and paying more attention to the things they feel are important. So being more aware fits in really well with these changes I am trying to make.

I think sometimes there are harmonies in different aspects of life, and if you can feel them, you should pay attention and go with it.

Zuppa!

I love the Zuppa Toscana soup from Olive Garden. So when I saw a recipe for it on Pinterest I was so excited to try it - until I saw the amount of calories and fat. So I decided to try and make my own Weight Watchers version. The result was really yummy and so close in taste to the original. I couldn't wait to share this one!

	2 large uncooked potatoes
	1 large uncooked onion
	4 cups uncooked Swiss chard
	2 cups fat-free chicken broth
	4 cups water
	1 cup fat-free half-and-half
	2 garlic cloves
	5 links Butterball Italian Turkey Sausage

Instructions

• Cut potatoes in half lengthwise and slice thin. Cook potatoes in boiling water with chopped onion for about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, cook the italian sausage. Drain potatoes and onion and return to the pot with the water, chicken broth, and garlic. Bring to a boil, add chopped swiss chard and sausage. Reduce heat to low and cook about 10 min. Add the half and half and salt and pepper to taste. 

This recipe makes about 12 cups

1 cup = 4 points plus

Enjoy!

The Skinny on my New Year's Resolution

I'm back! I know all 4 of you who read my blog missed me :-)

It's been a while since I have posted - I have had a really rough few months emotionally and I haven't had the energy to share my thoughts (or cook, or coupon, or anything else interesting). I had to make some tough decisions and try to do what's best for me, which is not something that comes naturally to me. I went through a hard time for a while and did a lot of thinking about what's important to me.

            Number one most important: my husband and kids. Period. Everyone else comes after them.

Another conclusion I have made after all this soul searching: life is too short to spend time with people who make you feel bad, whether they mean to or not. I'm talking about people who are not supportive, who always have a negative comment, who aren't happy with their own lives and thus feel the need to make everyone else miserable too. If I am your friend or family, I have your back. I will support you any way I can. I will help you if you need help. I will not expect you to be perfect and will be there for you when you need it. I won't let you cry alone if you need a shoulder to cry on. I don't want to surround myself with people who don't feel the same way about their relationships with friends and family. It's a two way street, and I will no longer be bending over backwards trying to make other people happy. I'm going be make myself happy and surround myself with people who are loving, caring, positive, open, and supportive. I am truly blessed to have a lot of these people in my life, many of whom have helped me through the last few months.

This year I have an unusual New Year's resolution. I was thinking about the phrase, "a new year, a new me." I have learned through making a big physical change that the "new me" is still the same old me. I still have all the same problems and joys in life I did before the change. So my goal this year is, "a new year, embracing ME." This year will be about embracing and encouraging who I am, faults and all. I'm not going to try and change who I am to make anyone else happy. I'm not listening to any more negativity from my inner self or anyone else.

I also survived the holidays and all the food, and overall I maintained my weight. I'm not very happy with no real weight loss since October, but no real weight gain either, so I begin 2013 proud of my 50 lb weight loss in 2012 and ready to get back on track and moving towards my goal weight.

Superwoman

Here are just some of the things I feel I am supposed to do in my daily life:

As a Parent:

Be an a fun parent who is strict enough but not too strict.
Read parenting books so I know what the hell to do when my kids are misbehaving or doing something weird. Then feel guilty because I do a lot of the things the parenting books say not to do.
Come up with cute crafts and projects for my kids and I to do together.
Come up with interesting educational stuff for my kids and I to do together.
Write down all the cute stuff my kids say so I don't forget these precious days when they are saying cute stuff.
Take pictures and videos of my kids so I can go back and remember how cute and lovable they were when they are teenagers and not so cute and lovable.
The previous 2 include keeping up with their baby books.

At Home:

Balance our household budget (never really knowing what our income will be from month to month), pay all the bills, and keep us out of debt.
The above also requires me to keep up with all the piles of mail.
Plan healthy meals everyone will eat.
Shop at the grocery store for ingredients for the healthy meals, buying only the stuff on sale and with coupons to stay in budget.
Cook the healthy meals everyone probably won't eat.
Keep my house clean. Except for (usually) dishes and laundry. On the weekend, try to figure out where all the crap that piles up all week should go. Stay organized.
Maintain the yard - landscaping, green grass, rake leaves, decorate for holidays, etc. Except mowing.
Be crafty. Knit or scrapbook or sew or something.

Personally:

Eat healthy and exercise. At least 5 times a week.
Take all the various vitamins I should be taking.
Take care of my body when everything hurts, which is often. Especially when it rains.
Plan date nights with my husband.
Do romantic things for my husband.
Be romantic with my husband.

At Work:

Work full time. Though I am lucky and really like my job, so most of the time I look forward to it. But I still have to be there 40 hours a week, including some nights and Saturdays.
Figure out how to balance my schedule with my husband's schedule, which changes every single week. And make sure someone is around to watch the kids or we can take them somewhere to be watched.
At work - be productive, be a leader, particpate in committees and groups, come up with innovative ideas and interesting programs, deal with pissed off people, try to keep everyone motivated, try to stay motivated myself, do all my work and help with the everyday stuff that has to get done, answer emails in a timely manner, make and keep professional connections, participate in outreach opportunities, etc.

Socially:

Watch the news or read a newspaper so I can act like I know what's going on when someone asks me about the election/economic crisis/weather/crisis in whatever country.
Do fun and active stuff on the weekends - festivals, parks, birthday parties, the zoo, the lake, etc. yes, a lot of the time these are things I don't want to do. I just want to stay home. Because my house needs to be cleaned.
Participate in whatever family stuff is going on - and people, I have a lot of families. Who don't usually like to do things together. Like birthday parties or holidays. So I get to run around to everyone's houses.
Stay in touch with my friends and know what's going on in their lives so I can be a good friend to them. My friends are the ones who don't put pressure on me to do stuff, and where does that get them? On the bottom of the list. I'll fit you in when I can cause I know you won't guilt trip me if I don't.
Remember everyone's birthdays for my entire family and most of Scott's; send them cards and/or gifts.
Send thank you cards.
Volunteer to help those who have less than me.

Yes, I'm whining. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me, though. I am just figuring this out for myself. Because I CAN'T DO IT. It is completely impossible for me to accomplish all these things. And yet I keep running in circles trying to make everyone happy, trying to be the person I need to be for whoever needs me at that moment - a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good co-worker, a good person. I'm not sure if I'm doing this to myself or if society is doing this to me or if it's both. But guess what? I fail at being superwoman.

Here's what I want to do:

Read.
Sleep.
Write.
Have a dance party with only me and the kids.
Watch a football game with my friends.
Sleep.
Read.
Have a glass of wine every night.
Eat something unhealthy.
Watch a movie.
Be left alone.

And here's the conclusion I have come to in light of recent events: I'm going to start doing more of what I want to do. And if anyone thinks that makes me a bad parent, or a bad wife, or a bad daughter, or a bad person - I really don't care. Becaue I am killing myself trying to do everything and be everything. So next time I might tell you no, instead of saying yes and then resenting having to go or dragging my kids somewhere when they are tired and hungry or forgetting to show up at all. Then I am going to stay home, drink a glass of wine, and read.