Here are just some of the things I feel I am supposed to do in my daily life:
As a Parent:Be an a fun parent who is strict enough but not too strict.
Read parenting books so I know what the hell to do when my kids are misbehaving or doing something weird. Then feel guilty because I do a lot of the things the parenting books say not to do.
Come up with cute crafts and projects for my kids and I to do together.
Come up with interesting educational stuff for my kids and I to do together.
Write down all the cute stuff my kids say so I don't forget these precious days when they are saying cute stuff.
Take pictures and videos of my kids so I can go back and remember how cute and lovable they were when they are teenagers and not so cute and lovable.
The previous 2 include keeping up with their baby books.
At Home:Balance our household budget (never really knowing what our income will be from month to month), pay all the bills, and keep us out of debt.
The above also requires me to keep up with all the piles of mail.
Plan healthy meals everyone will eat.
Shop at the grocery store for ingredients for the healthy meals, buying only the stuff on sale and with coupons to stay in budget.
Cook the healthy meals everyone probably won't eat.
Keep my house clean. Except for (usually) dishes and laundry. On the weekend, try to figure out where all the crap that piles up all week should go. Stay organized.
Maintain the yard - landscaping, green grass, rake leaves, decorate for holidays, etc. Except mowing.
Be crafty. Knit or scrapbook or sew or something.
Personally:Eat healthy and exercise. At least 5 times a week.
Take all the various vitamins I should be taking.
Take care of my body when everything hurts, which is often. Especially when it rains.
Plan date nights with my husband.
Do romantic things for my husband.
Be romantic with my husband.
Work full time. Though I am lucky and really like my job, so most of the time I look forward to it. But I still have to be there 40 hours a week, including some nights and Saturdays.
Figure out how to balance my schedule with my husband's schedule, which changes every single week. And make sure someone is around to watch the kids or we can take them somewhere to be watched.
At work - be productive, be a leader, particpate in committees and groups, come up with innovative ideas and interesting programs, deal with pissed off people, try to keep everyone motivated, try to stay motivated myself, do all my work and help with the everyday stuff that has to get done, answer emails in a timely manner, make and keep professional connections, participate in outreach opportunities, etc.
Socially:Watch the news or read a newspaper so I can act like I know what's going on when someone asks me about the election/economic crisis/weather/crisis in whatever country.
Do fun and active stuff on the weekends - festivals, parks, birthday parties, the zoo, the lake, etc. yes, a lot of the time these are things I don't want to do. I just want to stay home. Because my house needs to be cleaned.
Participate in whatever family stuff is going on - and people, I have a lot of families. Who don't usually like to do things together. Like birthday parties or holidays. So I get to run around to everyone's houses.
Stay in touch with my friends and know what's going on in their lives so I can be a good friend to them. My friends are the ones who don't put pressure on me to do stuff, and where does that get them? On the bottom of the list. I'll fit you in when I can cause I know you won't guilt trip me if I don't.
Remember everyone's birthdays for my entire family and most of Scott's; send them cards and/or gifts.
Send thank you cards.
Volunteer to help those who have less than me.
Yes, I'm whining. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me, though. I am just figuring this out for myself. Because I CAN'T DO IT. It is completely impossible for me to accomplish all these things. And yet I keep running in circles trying to make everyone happy, trying to be the person I need to be for whoever needs me at that moment - a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good co-worker, a good person. I'm not sure if I'm doing this to myself or if society is doing this to me or if it's both. But guess what? I fail at being superwoman.
Here's what I want to do:Read.
Have a dance party with only me and the kids.
Watch a football game with my friends.
Have a glass of wine every night.
Eat something unhealthy.
Watch a movie.
Be left alone.
And here's the conclusion I have come to in light of recent events: I'm going to start doing more of what I want to do. And if anyone thinks that makes me a bad parent, or a bad wife, or a bad daughter, or a bad person - I really don't care. Becaue I am killing myself trying to do everything and be everything. So next time I might tell you no, instead of saying yes and then resenting having to go or dragging my kids somewhere when they are tired and hungry or forgetting to show up at all. Then I am going to stay home, drink a glass of wine, and read.