About my blog

In the past year, I have lost over 55 lbs while working full time and being a full time mom to Maddie, 5 and Carter, 2. I want to encourage other moms who are pulled in a million different directions every day - if I can do it, you can too. I promise it IS possible.

On this blog, you will find information about how I lost the weight (this is an ongoing endeavor!), recipes enjoyed by me and my family, couponing and saving money, thoughts on parenting, yoga, people in general, or whatever else I feel like blogging about that day.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Grandparental love

Not sure if grandparental is a word, but if not it won't be the first word I made up. I am not in a happy place today. Scott's grandpa, Gigi, died yesterday. Scott was very close to him and everyone in the family loved him so much - he was funny, talented, loving, entertaining, and just a good man. I think part of the reason Scott and I have a lot of the same values and probably part of the reason we got together and stayed together has to do with the part our grandparents played in our lives. So today I've been thinking a lot about grandparents, and how important their role is in the lives of their grandchildren.

I don't know if I can explain this without offending anyone who may read it - but a disclaimer: I do not wish to offend or bring up anything painful. It's the truth for me, but it may not be for you, and that's ok. For me personally, my grandparents played a huge role in my life. Here's the truth: I have daddy issues. I have never been a daddy's girl, I don't know what that's like, and I am jealous of people who do. I didn't begin a relationship with my biological dad until I was 16. I grew up with a stepdad who adopted me when I was 3. I have no doubt he loved me, and still loves me. But I also have no doubt he felt a different kind of love for his own children, my little sisters. Whether he meant to or not, I was treated differently. The same thing happens on the other side, with my biological dad. I didn't really know him until I was 16. I never had a chance to go through all the things daughters go through with their dads when they are little. I never developed that special father daughter bond with him, and for that I am sad, but I know it is what it is - you can't go back and change the past. I don't know if my sisters know how lucky they are to have that bond, something they have always known and never doubted. There's lots more to this story but it's in the past and I don't blame anyone for how it all worked out. We are human and shit happens and doesn't always work out the way we want it to. And if I didn't have my life and experiences, I wouldn't be the person I am today. And I like the person I am today. Despite lots of growing pains in our relationships, I am lucky enough to have all my dads involved in my life and my children's lives. It does make for an interesting trip to CVS every year to pick out cards on father's day...most of them don't really fit.

However, my stepdad's parents - my grandparents - never treated me any differently. They accepted me when I was 3 as their own and loved me unconditionally from day 1. Children can feel the difference when they are loved in such an unconditional way. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was growing up and to this day have a fierce and protective love for them - because of the way they loved me, because they gave me stability I needed growing up, because they are amazing people.  Especially my Grandpa - so I guess you could say I'm a Grandpa's girl instead of a daddy's girl.

Scott also spent a lot of time with his grandparents. He talks a lot about spending time at their general store, about funny stuff Gigi said or did, about Christmases filled with music and laughter. His grandparents, like mine, were married for over 60 years. Though they are very different in where they came from and how they lived their lives, the basic values were the same. The memories they created for us were invaluable.

Grandparents provide us with such an incredible relationship. They may be unconventional, or they may be straight out of a storybook, but (for the most part; I know everyone has different experiences) they are there for their grandchildren. They provide that soft place to land, they cheer us on in life, they are available to encourage us or help us out. I could always go to my grandparents house and find a connection with myself as a little girl through them. It's a different relationship than the one we often have with our parents - not so difficult to navigate, especially during those teen years when you are temporarily insane from hormones. Today, I watch my mom with my children and my heart melts to see her creating that special relationship with them.

So, if you still have your grandparents in your life, give them a call this week and tell them you love them. Tell them how much they mean to you and how much they have done for you in your life. If you don't have them with you anymore, stop and reflect on a memory or two in appreciation. In honor of Gigi.

Gigi - I hope there is REALLY good wine in heaven. They are lucky to have you - and your fiddle - to entertain them up there.

No comments:

Post a Comment