My mom asked me to go back to Weight Watchers with her in January 2012. We had been members before and lost weight for a while, but didn't stick with it. I didn't want to go. I wasn't really interested in counting points. I didn't want to do the work. I didn't want to look at my weight issue and deal with it. But I went to support my mom. And I started losing weight - more than 10 pounds in the first few weeks.
I'm not sure I can pinpoint when it clicked for me. It's weird but I think my attitude of not really caring was a good thing at first. I wasn't too hard on myself if I didn't lose much - it just wasn't that big of a deal. I was just there supporting my mom, and if I lost some weight too that would be cool. I started losing more weight, and feeling better. My clothes fit better and then became too big. I started doing yoga several times a week. And all of a sudden I was the one who was serious about following the program and losing the weight.
Maybe I didn't expect results and so didn't want to get my hopes up too high. But when I did get results I started to hope. I started to believe I could actually do this. I've spent my whole life failing at losing this weight, but I didn't have to stay in this pattern of behavior.
I think the key this time is about my attitude towards myself. If I don't lose weight one week, or don't lose much weight, or even gain weight, I don't beat myself up about it. Next week is a new week. This is a lifetime coming and it's not going to happen overnight. And I'm not perfect. I still eat a spoonful of peanut butter right out of the jar sometimes. But that's OK. I've finally let go of my guilt about eating and cut myself some slack.
I had a moment the other day when I saw a picture of myself and I was like - "wait, is that me?" - wow. What a moment.
|February 2012 - In Vegas with my girlfriends|
|In June on vacation with family - ignore the no makeup!!|